Sophomoric Trajectories to the Moon

I used to email strangers for a living, so I try to respond to any sent by hand even if it’s templated from a recruiter. This A.I. obsession is going to screw people who have reverence for the writing process — the beautiful exercise it provides for the overconsuming mind, clarification of thought, productive torture of iteratively trying not to sound like an idiot.

Younger technology-appendaged generations will come out worse for it. I was pleasantly struck by an email from a college child, strikingly born when I was a sophomore myself. That was the year I got my first cellphone, a Nokia flipper, whereas she probably started out in the iPhone double digits in middle school. Tell me if I’m dinosaur-ing, but this had to be written the old-school way:

I’m excited to help her out. Hey even if she used ChatGPT for cover letters, that’s relevant to her field and validates the resume. 

I’m less excited about what this impressive note made me think of, what seems to be a race to the terrifying top between college admission standards and costs. Everyone would be happier if this rabid escalator would just chill out. I couldn’t have cared less before, but now I have two young children and wonder at this rate in the late 2030s will it be more improbable for them to get into college or us to pay for it.

I don’t understand how the middle of the curve even does it present day. The parent company of my wife’s employer owns an international chain of Montessori schools, so we get free tuition. I say it casually but that’s probably the luckiest financial break we’ll ever get, right up there with a $15 discount at Target the other day for exceeding $100 (which was more planning than luck).

Otherwise combined tuition for our two kids, ages 4 and 2, would be $52,980 a year until they mercifully make it to kindergarten and public school. In California it was 20-plus percent higher, about double our rent at the time. Imagine paying rent three times a month. Sign me up for a hard pass.

Of course there are less expensive options we’d have chosen without the tuition godsend, but this is still a problem for many families. Both political parties recognize it. Child care used to be one of those distant, this-is-me-tuning-out issues in presidential debates. Now I understand it to be fundamental. 

Whether you prefer to Build Back Better or Make America Great Again in the imminent rematch no one asked for, pay attention to the child care plans if you’re more interested in the wellness of our country than political theater. Any rhetoric around racial and gender equality, erosion of the middle class, economic strength, public health could do worse than start with child care.

As for the other bookend in child care, it’s not inconceivable a couple of four-year private university educations will cost a million dollars all in when my boys leave high school. I should have started a 529 plan during the first pregnancy five years ago, before the S&P 500 rose 90 percent. I swear I’ll get on it this month. 

A reputable source told me Utah’s 529 is the best. Let me know if you have advice. Seriously tell me now; I am going to open one in the next week or two. I’m writing it down here to be accountable.

It’s also possible higher education looks different in 15 years in terms of cost and need. I don’t need it to be free or superfluous, but the current trajectory does not seem sustainable. We all heard about the Full House scandal featuring Aunt Becky morphing into the Wolf of Wall Street, and I remember thinking is it that hard to get into U.S.C.?

Yes it is, I just wasn’t paying attention. I get the feeling the baseline has risen a lot since I sprayed college applications coast to coast in manila envelopes with brass clasps. My coworker was telling me about all the detailed planning and tailoring that can go into a high schooler’s life to maximize their chances, or more cynically, game the system. A family friend’s son didn’t get into any of his top choices despite being valedictorian at a prestigious prep.

I want to guard against academic tunnel vision and impart to my kids the focus they find and bets and decisions they make will matter, not the diploma. They can ask their Indian uncle, my childhood best friend who made it through pre-med only to become a stand-up comedian. He just released an incredible special, which you should watch now rather than hear me pretend to stress about something I’m not stressed about.

The kids will be fine. They will go where they go. The path likely will be hard, an accomplishment, and an education in and of itself for all parties involved.

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